Okay, so I promised oil wrestling and here it is, but for now it's just the tamer pictures. I call it a Safe For Work gallery, but I'm not sure exactly where you work that you can be looking at this stuff. Shouldn't you be filing some TPS reports or something? Just try not to get the oil all over them. How the fuck would you explain baby oil on your TPS reports?
Back to GOTJ 2013 - Friday
Friday fun... a few dry t-shirts (shorty before being Faygo'd right out of existence), a few kisses, some carnival rides, and random Juggalos and Juggalettes... what more could you ask for? Wouldn't it be great if that described every Friday?
Well, here's the latest installment of my tribute to that beautiful dream, Friday afternoon at the 14th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, right up until the start of Oil Wrestling, which will probably be more on the NSFW work side of things.....
EBOLAOCALYPSE - DAY 7 - NARROW ESCAPE
WHILE SCROUNGING FOR ADDITIONAL FUNNEL CAKE SOURCES, I STUMBLED UPON THE LATEST THREAT EVOLVING DURING THE PANDEMONIUM OF THE EBOLAOCALYPSE - SIMIAN SNIPERS!!!
LUCKILY, THEY ARE NOT YET EVOLVED ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT SNIPERS NEED SUPPORT PERSONNEL TO PREVENT A STEALTHY ATTACKER FROM COMING UP BEHIND THEM, SNATCHING THE RIFLE AWAY, AND GIVING THEM A BANANA THAT HAS BEEN MARINATED IN NYQUIL.
NOTE TO SELF - REMEMBER TO MARINATE MORE BANANAS IN NYQUIL. I WAS LUCKY THAT I ALREADY HAD A BATCH.
Read MoreEBOLAOCALYPSE - DAY 7 - THE FBI
MY EXPERIENCES AT THE GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THE EBOLAOCALYPSE BETTER THAN ANY SURVIVALIST TRAINING. I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO DAYS HIDING IN A TREE, EATING NOTHING BUT FUNNEL CAKES FROM AN ABANDONED FOOD TRUCK.
WHICH IS FITTING, BECAUSE THE CDC HAS BEGUN WORKING WITH THE FBI, AND HAS NOW OFFICIALLY CLASSIFIED EBOLA AS A JUGGALO.
Read MoreEBOLAOCALYPSE 2014 - DAY 5
THE CDC HAS BEEN DEPLOYING THESE TOWERS THROUGHOUT THE SOUTHEAST OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS. IT IS NOT YET CLEAR IF THEY ARE INTENDED TO DISPENSE SOME KIND OF EBOLA FIGHTING ENERGY FIELD OR IF THEY ARE SIMPLY THE LATEST TOOL IN THE FEMA ARSENAL FOR QUICK AND DECISIVE VAPORIZATION OF ANY HUMAN FOOLISH ENOUGH TO ATTEMPT TO TRAVEL WITHOUT THE MANDATORY RFID IMPLANTS
Read MoreEBOLAOCALYPSE 2014 - DAY 4
APPARENTLY THE THUNDERSTORMS TODAY WERE ARRANGED BY THE CDC AND FEMA TO ATTEMPT TO HIDE THE FACT THAT EBOLA HAS NOW MUTATED INTO A FIERY DEMON
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EBOLAOCALYPSE 2014 - DAY 4 - EBOLANADO!!!
JUST WHEN IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE - THIS MAP SHOWS INFECTIONS, BUT THERE ARE ALSO OVER 9000 TORNADOS BEING CONTROLLED BY THE MILITARY
Read MoreEBOLAOCALYPSE 2014 - DAY 4 - SLOPPY RESPIRATOR DISCIPLINE
IF SOMEHOW YOUR AREA STILL HASN'T BEEN EXPOSED TO THE RAGING EBOLA EPIDEMIC, START TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN PROPER RESPIRATOR USAGE IMMEDIATELY! DON'T LET THIS BE YOU!!!! ALL OF THE SOUTHEAST IS UNDER COMPLETE MILITARY LOCK DOWN. BUT THERE IS NO WAY TO KEEP IT CONTAINED SINCE IT IS COMMUNICABLE BY PURE THOUGHT!!
Read MoreThe last of organized Wet T-Shirts - GOTJ2013
I'm not saying that these are the last wet t-shirts seen at the 14th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, but it is the last of the regularly scheduled wet t-shirt contests. Everyone knows that wet t-shirts don't necessarily follow a strict schedule.
Actually, in this set, I don't remember seeing ANY t-shirts at all, wet or otherwise. But there is absolutely a whole lot of wet.
EBOLAOCALYPSE 2014 - DAY 3
WHAT REMAINS OF THE CDC HAS ELEVATED THEIR THREAT LEVEL ONCE AGAIN - NOW IT IS LEVEL Q. IT IS NOT ENTIRELY CLEAR WHAT THIS UNPUBLISHED THREAT LEVEL MEANS, BUT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY TRUCKS CARRYING GIANT VATS COULD BE WITNESSED LEAVING THEIR SECURED FACILITY
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